Well, it finally happened. After serving 3 months on the ground, I came to a point where I actually wanted to be here. Before, I recognized that this was a great opportunity, and would thoughtfully proclaim that I was happy to be here. But I didn’t really feel it. I would have given anything to be home, and found myself regretting my decision. Counting down the days till I returned home.
I really struggled with missing my best friends wedding, and went back and forth on whether or not I should come home. But like most things, once you finally make the decision (one way or the other) you feel the weight of the decision lift. And so I made that decision – and felt more comfortable in my days.
Several people over the last few months told me that I wasn’t missing anything in Georgia when I’d complain about not being there. And while I appreciated them telling me that, I didn’t believe it. Through the course of a couple of events, I actually had a few days where I was thankful to be here instead of there.
I seem to have romanticized my life back home. Just as I romanticized life in Africa. I have a really great life there, please don’t misunderstand me. But I’m slowly learning that one place isn’t better than the other. They are just different. Different in good ways. And while I can’t wait to get back to the states, I don’t want to wish away my time here.
So, it finally happened. I am happy here. As my best friend, Jill says, “Be present”. And so that is what I am trying to do.
At least for today.