I was in need of a devotional, and waiting on Jesus Calling which had been ordered. So I grabbed one that had been sitting on my shelf. Purpose Driven Life.

I opened it up and on the front page, top right hand side was my name, and the date, February 29, 2004. I know good and well that I never finished this book, so while I’m waiting, I’ll give this one a while again.

With each day, I’m realizing that Amanda 2004 wouldn’t have gotten this book. I may have started my first small group at that time, or as attributed by the purchase of the book, wanting to cultivate a relationship with God.

Day 16 starts off with the verse 1 Corinthians 13:3 – No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I am bankrupt without love.

The devotional talks specifically about loving everyone, but particularly about us learning to love others in His family. We are to give special attention to other believers because our love for each other is a great witness.

I fail at this. A lot.

It has become painfully obvious that it is easier for me to love the people that I serve, than it is for me to love the people I work with and beside.

“Love should be your top priority and greatest ambition. God wants us to be in regular, close fellowship with other believers so you can develop the skill of loving. Love cannot be learned in isolation. You have to be around people – irritating, imperfect, frustrating people.”

It’s the irritating, imperfect, frustrating people that I find hard to love. And I’ve been struggling with it a lot lately. And instead of praying about it, I’ve been telling other people how difficult it is for me to love those people.

The closer I get to God, the more flaws he reveals in me. It’s a painful  process.  If you don’t ever want to deal with your short comings, do not become a disciple of the Lord.

Psalms 51:10 – Create in me a clean heart…

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