One of my favorite songs is Come Thou Fount. The Sufjan Stevens version.

There’s a verse that goes, “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love” that gets me every time. Convicting because it’s a true statement. Even as I stand before you, proclaiming that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, I will stray. I will love things/people more than I love him. I am confident that I will sin by action or word. Maybe I hide him (under a bushel, no!). Or ignore him. I am a Judas among us.

He knows it. And I know it.

It is sad to think about hurting the God I love. To think of how I’ve already hurt him. I’m slowly learning what a relationship with God looks like. And it’s no longer a list of things to do or not to do, as I thought for so long growing up. It’s about a sinless God dying on the cross for the my sins. For the sins of all those that have come before, and the ones after.  The closer I get to him, the easier it is to recognize and count my sins.

O to grace how great a debtor.

Romans 3:23 states: For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.

It is an odd relationship, that of sin and grace. Acknowledging that I fall short in my life brings me closer to him. And that is where I long to be.

“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.Here’s my heart, O take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above.”

ab