wild abandon or lackthereof

I am toying with a question. And I ask this because I have put boundaries and guardrails in place my entire life. Whenever I would start to get to lax on something, I would enforce a self-induced restriction. And so I wonder…are you exploring life with wild abandon? I’m not talking about reckless abandon. But with wild abandon. Abandon with caution.

As I find myself in different situations, professional and otherwise, I realize that I have put so many restrictions and rules in place to, ultimately protect me, that I am starting to think I’m doing myself a disservice. That I’ve missed moments because of my crippling fear. And I am envious of people who throw themselves at the mercy of the world, who have a childlike hope of what could be.

I fear I have stifled my walk through life with intellect. That I have guarded my heart so much that I no longer recognize that the risk could be worth it.   I no longer know what giving into the “hope of something” looks like. At least not today. Today I still see drawn lines. They may be in sand, but they are still lines.

ab

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One Response to wild abandon or lackthereof

  1. Allison Rizk says:

    Girl, I think we all feel that way. I really understand this post. It’s a fair question and one that ultimately, pushes you out of your comfort zone to truly experience new things. I love how vulerable and how transparent you make yourself through this blog. I imagine it’s very therapeutic for you and I’m so glad you are brave enough to ask these questions-

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