dirty grace

I’m sitting here this morning reading a book that my friend Kendra gave me, A Chance to Die, about the Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael. Thoughts such as “Faith does not eliminate questions, but faith knows where to take those questions” and “To obey is better than sacrifice” stand out because of the green highlighter that I’m armed with. As I turn the page, I notice that I have left a dirty fingerprint along the top right hand corner of the page. And then I see the dirty smudges along the side of the pages.


It’s 10:00 in the morning. I have not yet been outside. Yet I am dirty.

I’m not sure if I’m ever really clean here.

Last night when I showered after a day of walking around with friends, I laughed when I saw my feet because they looked as if they had been on a tropical vacation for 2 weeks. Stained a dark tan. The water puddled brown at the bottom of the shower last night. It does that every time I shower.

The bottoms of my feet are always brown.

My fingernails store dirt under them.

I am unaware of the dirt most days. But this morning it has been a gift.

I’m having one of those homesick moments. Waking up to do a quick glance on the fb to see what life elsewhere looks like, I become aware of the moments back home I’m missing. The wedding dress shopping. The celebration of adoptions. Baby announcements. My dog’s adventures. A friend’s move to another city. Today, the miles between us seem far, the world seems big, and December is not near.

But, this dirt on my hands reminds me that my time here is short.

1 Corinthians 7:29-31 – What I mean, brothers (Amanda), is that the (your) time is short…for this world (time) in its present form is passing away.

Attempting to seek his grace and blessings in the everyday things.

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